Honeymoon funds have really taken off in the last decade or so as many couples choose to live together before tying the knot. There are many reasons why cohabitation now occurs before marriage and we suspect high rent and real estate prices has something to do with it—yikes!
But if you’ve been living with your significant other before marriage, coming up with a wedding registry can be tough. Since you’ve already made a comfortable home with your partner, the two of you aren’t in need of kitchenware, linens, or home decor, which are all things people used to put on their registries.
Because of this shift towards premarital cohabitation (a fancy word for living together before marriage), many couples prefer to replace their gift registry with a “honeymoon fund”. While this is considered completely normal among younger generations, it can be a hard pill to swallow with older, more traditional generations.
Even though some people might not agree with this new-age method of gifting at weddings, honeymoon funds are absolutely not tacky if they are done the right way.
When going the honeymoon fund route, there’s definitely some room for error. To avoid rubbing any guests the wrong way, be sure to familiarize yourself with these 5 common mistakes. By keeping this in mind, you’ll be able to seamlessly launch your very own honeymoon fund.
1. The Honeymoon Fund Lacks Personalization
If you and your lovely spouse already have every material item you could ever ask for, it’s time to create a personalized honeymoon fund. When drafting up with wording for the invitation or wedding website, it’s incredibly important to avoid any insincere wording.
See our tips on honeymoon fund wording and etiquette here.
Many guests feel that the words “instead of gifts we would love to receive money” rub them the wrong way. Instead, try to find a creative and almost poetic way to word your preference for honeymoon money over monogrammed mugs. Here are a few ways that you can properly word this request:
“Your presence is present enough but for those who wish to contribute, please choose a gift from our honeymoon registry.”
“We are incredibly thankful to have everything we already need. So, we are skipping out of tradition and would love for you to help us create some new experiences instead.”
Whatever you choose to say, try to tweak it a little bit to reflect your personality. Copying and pasting a sentiment from Google is never a great idea.
2. Guests Only Have One Option
In many honeymoon fund situations, many guests are put off by the fact that there’s only one option.
If your guestlist is filled with folks who are sticklers for traditions, provide a few honeymoon gifts and then they can choose what one they would like to contribute to.
For example, you can divide your honeymoon fund into categories like “airfare”, “hotel”, “a romantic dinner for two”, “scuba diving”, “car rental for our two-hour trip to the beach”, or “a dance lesson”.
Before creating the online honeymoon fund, sit down with your partner and brainstorm what the two of you would like to get up to on your once-in-a-lifetime vacation.
If there are a few things that you and your spouse need for your home (like a new duvet or blender), feel free to add those to the registry as well. There will definitely be a few traditional guests who will appreciate the option to give a more tangible gift.
You can also include a honeymoon fund box at your wedding to encourage in-person donations.
3. The Honeymoon Fund Amount is Way Too High
Before pressing “save” on your virtual honeymoon fund or wedding website, double-check that the dollar amount of your prospective trip isn’t too high. Asking for an absurd amount of money for a honeymoon can be seen as distasteful.
The average cost of a honeymoon is $3,500 but 25% of honeymooners spend more than $5,000 and 25% of honeymooners spend less than $1,000.
Plus, planning an expensive honeymoon with the hopes of receiving a lot of monetary gifts from guests is a huge mistake. If you don’t receive as much as you’d like, you’ll end up having to pay for the rest. When it comes to your honeymoon, don’t go overboard.
It’s also important to remember that not all of the people attending your wedding can afford to contribute a large amount. Some of them might be unemployed or still attending college. It’s never a good idea to assume that everyone can afford a substantial monetary gift.
4. The “Thank You” Cards Are Sent Out Too Late
If your family members and friends are chipping in on your honeymoon, it’s important to send out “thank you” cards or ecards promptly after your wedding. Waiting too long to say “thank you” can be seen as ungrateful, no matter what the gift.
As a rule of thumb, “thank you” cards should be sent out by no later than three months after the wedding. The quicker they go out, the sooner you can relax and enjoy married life. In a perfect world, “thank you” cards or ecards would be sent out three weeks after the big day.
The “thank you” cards should also be personalized, otherwise, they can be seen as tacky. Filling out a template isn’t very warm and fuzzy. So try to include a funny or heart-warming sentiment that will show the recipient that you are truly grateful for their generous contribution to your honeymoon fund.
5. Don’t Overthink It
Planning a wedding is stressful enough—there’s no need to worry about how people are going to perceive your honeymoon fund. Overthinking the wording and specifics of the fund is going to harm your well-being in the long run and can potentially suck some of the fun out of your wedding.
When you and your significant other have decided on putting together a honeymoon fund instead of a Crate & Barrel registry, be confident in your decision and don’t let other peoples’ opinions impact what you’d like to do.
It’s common for family members and friends to inject their personal opinions into everything you plan for your wedding. Choosing to acknowledge their opinions, but not take them to heart, is going to make the planning experience much more tolerable for you.
There is absolutely nothing tacky about having a honeymoon fund. Some couples may see this as an unnecessary expense or a sign of greed, but when it comes to planning the most important trip of your life, why not make sure you have access to all the funds you need? Having a dedicated honeymoon fund ensures that you can focus on making memories without worrying about funds and flexibility. And while it’s true that some couples choose to cut corners and go on cheaper trips, there’s something to be said for splurging on a luxurious vacation. After all, this is meant to be your dream trip! So go ahead and start saving up today – your future self will thank you for making those memories extra special. Whether you’re celebrating your honeymoon or just getting away from the daily grind with your special someone, remember: always prioritize fun!
It may seem a little crass to ask friends and family for money to help pay for your honeymoon, but it’s perfectly acceptable. After all, you will no doubt be spending a lot of money on things like the ceremony and the venue, so why not ask for some extra cash for your post-wedding vacation? Not only does it allow you to plan the trip of your dreams, but it gives your loved ones the opportunity to play an active role in such a momentous occasion. And who knows – maybe they’ll be so inspired by your passion that they’ll even decide to book their own vacations! Overall, there’s no reason not to ask for honeymoon funds, so if you’re ready to tie the knot, don’t hesitate to reach out and start collecting those contributions today.